By Alli Van Roekel, April 8, 2016
Whether you are single or married, young or old, a parent or not, family is important because it is about the people closest to you. In our LifePlan process, we get the joy of dreaming about what you desire for your family relationships. Inherently, there is more risk and more reward in your closest relationships, so we must also address what may need to be healed with those relationships. As my pastor, Elvin Torres, of New City Church, once said,
“We have the most opportunity to sin against those closest to us because of proximity (we’re up close and personal), access (we see behind the curtain/mask), and exposure (we see them most often – it’s a numbers game). The closer the relationship, the uglier it can get.”
Because of this opportunity, we must guard ourselves from minimizing this domain, lest we take our loved ones for granted. Below are some common themes that have come out in the LifePlan process, and where we have seen transformation takes place:
Marriage: Some clients will have their spouse join them as an observer during their LifePlan. This gives their spouse a completely new view of them. Inevitably, they will know their spouse in ways they never had before. There is even the possibility (for those who are both ready for a LifePlan) to do the process together. This intimate experience can bring a new vision for the next chapter in their life together, and more importantly, can bring healing and reconciliation. Many times, marriages can lose intimacy simply born out of misunderstanding.
Extended Family: There are many times that the LifePlan process will reveal a need for boundaries. Some clients discover a new found revelation of how much control they really have over the kind of relationship they can create with their family members. Not only can this process be problem-solving, but it can involve exciting plans for deepening these important relationships.
Parenting: Parents often deal with feelings of guilt when it comes to giving their children the attention they need. One of the things we work on together is a Time Assessment tool that helps identify exactly how much time you are spending in the different life domains. Armed with this information, you can decide how you want that to change how your time is spent. With this new found vision, you can begin planning toward the time you desire with your family.
Your future family: Many of our clients are young, and they may spend some time during their LifePlan dreaming about their future family. Though this desire may not change their current life, it will affect their decision making. By having a vision for the family they desire, they may choose to take less risks, or keep an open heart toward their future. They may even begin praying for that special family they hope to have.
The Family domain is absolutely affected by the others. The LifePlan process helps you to love the ones you love most even better!
